Friday, January 6, 2012

Welcome Scott Shade... What you don't see coming

I would like to welcome my fabulous husband Scott Shade... Scott will be joining me from now on in posting blogs about our crazy but fabulous little life.  Scott will be blogging about parenting a child on the spectrum from a father's perspective.  

What you don’t see coming…

When you receive your child's Autism diagnosis, you think, “this will change our lives.” THAT, you understand. What you don't understand, is how much, and WHERE it will change your lives. You know there will be appointments, therapies, a schedule of aggressive behavior analysis and modifications, an IEP meeting at school, helping your family and friends understand it and how to approach situations…. What you don't see coming is how it affects the fun things you do as a family. How it JEOPARDIZES the fun things you do as a family. When we moved to Columbia we thought how fun it would be to go to Mizzou football games as a family. Taking the boys, seeing Truman, the Golden Girls, Big MO, the national anthem, and of course, the excitement of kickoff. Rye doesn't really like crowds of people, or noise… or football for that matter. So strike that "fun" thing from our list. One of the hardest things is deciding what kind of torture, and to what degree, you're going to put your kid on the spectrum through for the sake of "family fun" and engagement. On one hand you want to force engagement because you know of the benefit after years of doing it. On the other, wouldn't it be nice if Rye could just do what he wanted for an afternoon? Wouldn't it be nice to not put up with a melt-down and just lie on the couch and watch the game with instant replays? Lying on the couch on a lazy Saturday afternoon, watching the game, Rye’s happy playing and doing his thing… maybe it’s exactly what I saw coming in the first place.


  1. Love the blog! I bet there are a lot of parents out there needing the support your words will bring. Bravo to you both for stepping up and educating everyone. "The turtle never got anywhere till he stuck his neck out." (this is Angie BTW!)

  2. Thanks so much for the support!!!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I love every post. It is all absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

  3. Thanks Marissa! We appreciate your ongoing support of Rye and our family!